boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
