I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if only i could text you this smell
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
