His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
