NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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