So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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