Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
