I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
