Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
