I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
