I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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