my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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