We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize