Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We talked him into tasing himself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
