I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
