Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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