hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
