Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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