It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
