No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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