I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
