She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
