Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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