Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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