and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
