he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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