Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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