i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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