I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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