I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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