I'm drive I can fine osifer
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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