He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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