Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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