Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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