I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
