i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
