i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize