dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
