why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
