NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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