I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
