Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
