I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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