My balls are so social today.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize