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Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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