Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
