she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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