Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
