and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
