I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
