so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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