When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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