Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
