Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
