CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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