Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
